My old pal Dennis Prager does a great segment on his radio show that he calls the male/female hour.
And I find it fascinating.
So today, I’m doing the same.
And today’s topic is something that really irks men, but most women don’t understand why…
Let’s say a woman and her husband are going to a party.
It’s out in the country, so the husband is having a hard time finding the place.
After driving around for 10 minutes, the wife suggests that he call for help to get directions.
The husband doesn’t respond to her, but he eventually finds the house.
At the party the wife notices that her husband is being quiet. He’s in a bad mood and he’s short with her.
She can’t figure out why…
She wanted him to call and get directions when he was lost.
Men hate it when women offer them advice like this.
Because when women do this, what we hear is “I don’t trust you to do this. You’re not very good at it”
Even though his wife was just trying to help, and was trying to be supportive, that’s not how her husband saw it…
I remember one time early in my marriage, I was in the garage fixing one of the lights and for some reason I couldn’t get the darn thing to work.
Karen lovingly suggested that we call her brother to come over and fix it because “he’s good at this kind of thing”.
I tried to hold back my emotions, but I was furious.
And she couldn’t understand why that would make me so mad.
She didn’t understand that what she was saying was critical and unloving to me.
I felt like she was questioning my “manhood” in a way.
But none of this ever dawned on her.
And even when I explained it to her, she still didn’t get it.
But over time she’s learned that even if she doesn’t fully understand this, she knows how these kinds of things make me feel…so she doesn’t do it.
Which is a huge part of making a marriage work.
Just as I know that when Karen is having a hard time with something, all she really wants me to do is listen.
She doesn’t want me to give her solutions.
She just wants me to empathize with her.
It makes no sense to me as a man, but I’ve learned that’s what she wants.
So there ya go…
Hopefully this will save you from a few arguments in the future.
– Jeff Reagan
Founder, Patriot Health Alliance