Today’s newsletter is inspired by my pal & radio host Dennis Prager.
Dennis does a great segment on his show called the male/female hour where he talks about men & women and how we can have better relationships…
Well today, I’m doing the same thing…
And this one is for the guys. This is something I wish I had learned earlier in my life because it would have saved me a LOT of headaches.
Let’s get to it…
Do you ever feel like your wife is continually testing you to see how you react in certain situations?
Well, it’s not just in your head.
She is testing you.
She may not be concious that she is doing it. But she will poke at your weak spots in moments of superficial success.
Because above all else, she wants to feel that you’re not relying on some external validation from her.
Let’s say you’re a lawyer, and you win a big case you’ve been working on for months.
Your client is happy, and you just raked in a big ole’ check that is going to take care of your family for the next two years.
When you go home and tell your wife about it, she says “that’s great” and then immediately moves on to asking you if you picked up the dry cleaning.
“Honey, I just made us more money than we made all of last year”
“I know I heard you. That’s great. But you still didn’t answer me about the dry cleaning…”
At this point you’re about to blow a gasket.
Dry cleaning? Who cares about the dry cleaning? Did she hear what I just said?
Women tend to do things like this all the time.
Because in your moment of superficial success, you’re looking for validation from her.
But that’s not what she wants.
She wants to know that you’re so committed to your vision, to your goals, that her validation doesn’t really matter.
She wants to feel that at your core, you’ve grown beyond the need for kudos and child-like praise.
So in this moment, if you blow up on her and react, she’ll know that deep down you’re reliant on her for your validation.
And when that happens she can never fully trust you.
But here’s the thing most guys don’t want to hear…
These “tests” will never end.
So stop wishing that they’ll go away.
When your wife throws these little tests at you, she wants to feel that you’re stronger than the barbs she can throw at you.
She’s testing you because she loves you.
Because when you don’t react to these tests, and you stay committed to your own plan she’ll be able to fully trust you.
That’s why she’s testing you.
That’s a lesson I wish I would have learned much earlier in life.
Alright, that’s it from me for today.
Have a good one…
– Jeff Reagan
Founder, Patriot Health Alliance